I met my friend Nikki today after a month. After Mapusa happened to me, a few more failures in terms of academics and life and relationships, i finally and peacefully met her over a cup of nescafe. Which i never like to drink. But somehow it just tastes beautiful with her. Yes i am indeed starting this post on a very flattering note.
So i shared one of my Goa experiences which had nothing got to do with Goa or anything Goan with her. It concerned me and only myself as an individual. So she asked me to write about it today. But no, it is not going to happen today either. i will it save it for some other day. It is time to jott down some recent revelations in life which i experienced last week while talking to this another friend of mine named Swaroopa. ( Yes Nikki, you actually gave me courage to use the real names. And thanks, You do make me feel right about my decisions at times.)
I see friends and random people clicking the ever so glorious Loni-sky. Loni, the place where i have been forced to live in by the choices i made in my life and life itself. There are insta and fb pics saying #LONI SKY or #BEAUTIFULLONISKY or #LOVELYLONI and so on.
The pictures are beautiful no doubt. Crazy lensing, fancy filters and what not. Or just a simple click.
It looks so beautiful. But it pisses the shit out of me. Exactly. So i hide those posts. But today i choose to write about them. Because, I had a spiritual revelation of some sorts. Allowed.
When i used to sleep on my terrace back in Delhi as a kid when power used to go off, i loved looking at the sky. No not for the stars. They all looked the same to me. Just the distance varied. Not even the moon. It used to hurt my eyes when i looked at it. Instead, I looked out for the airplanes. Up above the world so high. Like a true Multi-diamond and multi-colored star moving in the deep dark sky. I could just feel alright by staring at it and moving my head in the same direction, following it to be vanished.
I remember my father telling me how the plane must be right now over Agra, but folks in Delhi could see it because it is so high. That logic made perfect sense to me. Maybe i was a bright kid in those days. And i saw nothing wrong with that fact. It was right indeed. Time space and distance difference all made sense to me. I just can't seem to understand the same in the current stage of life i am. Anyway.
So how can you assign the sky a name? a place name that too! It is untouched! and infinite! How we, humans, can just pretend to own it? Im not angry. Im just surprised. It is allowed right? Right. The sky above my head is the same above yours. You can't map the sky. You can spot the constellations off course. Or maybe there are ways to do that as well, but as i said, im not as bright as i used to be, so i may not be aware of it.
You can't draw a line over it, measure it, break it, exploit it, bury a body into it or can even reach it for that matter. Although it is a known fact that you can't do all that. But then how can u just name it? hashtag or tag it. There is nothing wrong in that too. But as i said questioning it is just a revelation for me.
Because the sky above this place is the only beautiful thing which exists here. It doesn't smell. It rains. It holds gigantic multi-hued clouds in the shades of blue-grey-green to it. It makes birthdays special. It does not mixes with the food you eat and the water you drink and gives you a disease. It just makes you look at it. And you get to see it being in this very same LonelyLoni. But the best and the worst part is, and it is a truth, that this sky has nothing got to do with loni. So while we upload pictures of this beautiful lonisky, Im sure the sky mocks at the people and laughs, and then obligingly glows in all it's glory.
I am not a pessimist or a sadist. Again. I am just happy. One thing as humans we have still not been able to rape is this sky. So now I am done with this tale, maybe hurting many sentiments, or maybe who cares, at least i don't. I am uploading a picture of the same sky i saw in loni. Not with my eyes. But with someone else's. Someone very beautiful. Just like the omnipresent sky. Temperature change is a nice feature in Canon 60D.
So i shared one of my Goa experiences which had nothing got to do with Goa or anything Goan with her. It concerned me and only myself as an individual. So she asked me to write about it today. But no, it is not going to happen today either. i will it save it for some other day. It is time to jott down some recent revelations in life which i experienced last week while talking to this another friend of mine named Swaroopa. ( Yes Nikki, you actually gave me courage to use the real names. And thanks, You do make me feel right about my decisions at times.)
I see friends and random people clicking the ever so glorious Loni-sky. Loni, the place where i have been forced to live in by the choices i made in my life and life itself. There are insta and fb pics saying #LONI SKY or #BEAUTIFULLONISKY or #LOVELYLONI and so on.
The pictures are beautiful no doubt. Crazy lensing, fancy filters and what not. Or just a simple click.
It looks so beautiful. But it pisses the shit out of me. Exactly. So i hide those posts. But today i choose to write about them. Because, I had a spiritual revelation of some sorts. Allowed.
When i used to sleep on my terrace back in Delhi as a kid when power used to go off, i loved looking at the sky. No not for the stars. They all looked the same to me. Just the distance varied. Not even the moon. It used to hurt my eyes when i looked at it. Instead, I looked out for the airplanes. Up above the world so high. Like a true Multi-diamond and multi-colored star moving in the deep dark sky. I could just feel alright by staring at it and moving my head in the same direction, following it to be vanished.
I remember my father telling me how the plane must be right now over Agra, but folks in Delhi could see it because it is so high. That logic made perfect sense to me. Maybe i was a bright kid in those days. And i saw nothing wrong with that fact. It was right indeed. Time space and distance difference all made sense to me. I just can't seem to understand the same in the current stage of life i am. Anyway.
So how can you assign the sky a name? a place name that too! It is untouched! and infinite! How we, humans, can just pretend to own it? Im not angry. Im just surprised. It is allowed right? Right. The sky above my head is the same above yours. You can't map the sky. You can spot the constellations off course. Or maybe there are ways to do that as well, but as i said, im not as bright as i used to be, so i may not be aware of it.
You can't draw a line over it, measure it, break it, exploit it, bury a body into it or can even reach it for that matter. Although it is a known fact that you can't do all that. But then how can u just name it? hashtag or tag it. There is nothing wrong in that too. But as i said questioning it is just a revelation for me.
Because the sky above this place is the only beautiful thing which exists here. It doesn't smell. It rains. It holds gigantic multi-hued clouds in the shades of blue-grey-green to it. It makes birthdays special. It does not mixes with the food you eat and the water you drink and gives you a disease. It just makes you look at it. And you get to see it being in this very same LonelyLoni. But the best and the worst part is, and it is a truth, that this sky has nothing got to do with loni. So while we upload pictures of this beautiful lonisky, Im sure the sky mocks at the people and laughs, and then obligingly glows in all it's glory.
I am not a pessimist or a sadist. Again. I am just happy. One thing as humans we have still not been able to rape is this sky. So now I am done with this tale, maybe hurting many sentiments, or maybe who cares, at least i don't. I am uploading a picture of the same sky i saw in loni. Not with my eyes. But with someone else's. Someone very beautiful. Just like the omnipresent sky. Temperature change is a nice feature in Canon 60D.
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