The ATM never works here. At least there is good music in the world.

I want a house where I only make dinner and love. Where there is a huge wall size window looking out into what that particular city looks like. A small gadda aligned right next to it. Every time i spend my monsoon weekend evenings with a mug of tea, the raindrops better splash unto my face too. The corner next to the shower room and kitchen should be where i sit head into my lap with legs touching my chest and face.

Dining should happen on the kitchen floor. cross legged. I will play all the old cassettes I have on an old tape If i can. Breathless/Aqua/Munni Begum/Ghulam Ali...

All of them. whatever is left now. 

There should be a sofa. More of an armchair. Just to watch films sitting on. It should be old and rough. Cozy with my own warmth. The table next to it should be small and big enough to take the burden of all my books. Read and unread. My alma-rih should have that one special place for my camera and the clothes I would wear and not wear on of one of those lovely days. Days when I only get to love and love more. And still get to sleep like a baby. And shower room be door less. Sheers would do. Sometimes. 

This house I will build everyday piece by piece. 

Now is the time to start reading The Surgeon Of Crowthorne.

The ATM  wasn't working again today. So had to step out of the campus. 

It is said if you stand under a railway bridge while a train pass on it, Every wish or prayer you make turns out to be true.

I don't know If my life took those prayers way too easily and is hell bent on making them true. I don't even want to live here anymore. I only dream for a house right now. And good food. I know I have these unrealistically and impractical small expectations from life. Par ab kya karein. 

Or it is life's yet another joke on me being played in full volume. 

I ate some really bad food in the evening yesterday. Sometimes places with an old charm trick you into doing so. Like all the god things in life. Port wine tastes amazing but the squeezes and churns the life out of my intestines making my brain go blow itself out. 

I'm yet to receive my parcel from amazon. 

I thought college life would be fun. 

It is just one word. Inconvenient. 

I pray that all this ends one day. I pray while I stand under the railway bridge while Azaad Hind Express or Jhelum pass over it. 

To be in the city of bridges

Glad that i was back again with an old friend. Testing times you know. So Sunday afternoon I go to that part of the Pune city which tricked me into actually loving it. Shaniwar Peth. Chai used to be for Rs. 7 over there when I had my first misal paav with some batchmates including Swaroopa and Amit Deshmukh Sir.
And then I got the chance to sip on the same tea after two years and eight months for Rs. 10 while Renu and Himalay gulped down glasses of Sugarcane juice each. It felt good to be in the 'sheher' again. Followed by maharashtrian lunch on a lazy sunday afternoon made by a beautiful lady. And then the toil of a student film shoot went on for the next few hours. Sunday well spent. Regardless of the fact how dicy my academic life seems like at the moment.
So ready to head back to our respective shit holes, for some reason I am left stranded on the road near one of the Pune city bridges with my friend and then we wait while coming to a decision on as to where to go or not go. The next moment we see fireworks, And my friend goes " Pune the city of bridges" and laughs it off. Sarcastically i guess. I just guess. Not sure.
An auto is taken towards the other developed Non-Pune like part of the city, passing by lottery ticket stores and buildings and buildings which don't seem to be hanging on in my memory, cause all I care now is for some sleep.
I reach. I collapse. I wake up and eat. And all the merry takes place in front of me in a flash of a few tiring and happy hours.
And then you wake up to the morning with a content feeling you were longing for since ages.
Brunch time becomes crisp. Im still wearing the same clothes and they stink. Of sleep and sweat and warmth.
I leave and reach Cafe Garden. And spend time with all the things lovely. Like the cats and cups of tea. My second favorite after the Shaniwar peth chai. Religion changes. Area changes. The taste of chai differs. But it all tastes good. The difference in taste is amazingly good. Why can't we just accept it?
Anyway.
I'm not alone at the cafe anymore. I have all the things lovely and real for the next 3-4 hours. I finally say goodbye.
I see the cashier at the counter change from the afternoon fellow to the evening one. He was happy to see me again. Again and not alone.
The Chaass at Cafe Garden sucks by the way.
But fireworks and moments of short lived happiness juxtaposed against a cool breeze of air at 8 pm in the evening is a sight to feel. 

3:45 am today.

I see two pair of legs lying side by side with the rest of the bodies, as i myself lay right next to them, on my right side. A little further is a cupboard on which a few books and stationery is kept, and a bottle of port wine, in which there is some amount of liquid left, waiting to be consumed, or rather, the liquid consuming me itself.

Right infront of it is a big window. With transparent sliding doors. Most of even that is covered by a dull yellow thick curtain. 

The street light is falling on the wall next to the cupboard and the woman's legs. The smoothness of the skin is tempting. His legs are just there. Just casually. And carefree. And tired. 

All I can hear is the cars outside on sv road. And the fan on full speed to keep the mosquitos away. Fail. Why this city doesn't sleep. Well there are many reasons. But so peaceful. I wish i could just lie here and look at the motor vehicles passing by outside as well. Keep a count of them and then unknowingly just fall asleep. Consumed by sleep itself. Night time insomnia is sometimes a beautiful thing to happen. 

But then again its not a thing. Which i can keep inside an almirah or Sandook  whenever i want to and take it out and spend time with it while I along with others become busy loosing our senses. It would have been great that way though. 

I don't want to wake them up. 

I don't want to wake anybody up. 

Not even myself.

In other 15 minutes or so, my grandparents living near the river will get up and go for a dip. 

Wish i could just dip in the sea nearby for ever. 

And washed all my sins including my existence. 

I can't even see the sun from here. Just the sunlight. Hope i can see it soon.

i don't know what to believe right now.

A 50 year old man saying love is a test of time.

And 23 year old man saying love fades away. And it is mortal. Just like us. Worse than us. 

I'm scared to believe at the moment.

I should shut my laptop now. Can't afford to wake them up.

Sleep is beautiful indeed.  

Out of all the things romantic

So all of a sudden in all this nonsense, I'm reminded of some visuals from a movie i loved watching as a kid. I just could not remember the name. I remember there was a boy who sketched really well. He sketched some fishes in his small sketchbook. There was an old man who dies in the end. And a beautiful mansion where i always dreamed of living in. Thats all i could recall from the film. And the fact that the boy and the girl kissed while drinking water from the same fountain tap. Every time. While i was going through a facebook page about movie quotes and all, i came across this image with Bob DeNiro and Ethan Hawke in it. A movie named GREAT EXPECTATIONS.

























Now this my friends happened after ages. This is the film/movie we are talking about here. Ethan
Hawke, DeNiro, Gwyneth Paltrow and Anne Bancroft as the lady who messes things up but who happened to be my favorite character in the movie at the time i watched it on Star Movies with my family when i was 6 or 7 years old. I read the reviews on imdb recently and turned out that the movie dint do really well. But who cares. My mystery got solved. I found my film. A dreamfilm rather. Something which defined the features of romance and fantasy for me when i was a young kid. And something i forgot the essence of over the period of these few years spent in character building and education.

Well, another movie which played all the romantic chords in my heart this year was Dedh Ishquia. Whether it was the old school romance factor in it, the light each time Madhuri Dixit entered the frame or the urdu shayari which was spoiled by the english subtitles in the theater or simply the fact that it had the typical adaa and style straight from the states of northern provinces or Uttar Pradesh, more specifically the Lucknow and its nearby areas made the movie hopelessly and helplessly romantic for me. Yes the story was quite loose. And an unsatisfactory ending. Something which can be said for romance as well. It has no ending. It has it's own chapters and phases and stages. Like the seven ones they mentioned in the movie. In all, it reminded me of the times when i used to take a bus to travel in old Pune city area while listening to Ghulam Ali Saahab on my phone or the times when i traveled on a cycle rickshaw in chandni chowk New Delhi every time i had to go to Khalsa Brothers to buy my half yearly supplies of Art material and all that back in school days. Yes this is exactly how the whole movie looked like to me. This warm yellow light is always flattering. Isn't it?

All this leads me to the point. The time i visited Lucknow last December and fell in love with the city all over again. Had the best Litti-Chokhha and the best chaat. Something which is so rare to find where i currently live. Of course where i live has some other amazing things to offer, but roots are roots. And love makes you splurge and indulge in all the things u can. So December winters, christmas time, great food and amazing people, i made a trip to Bada Imambara and then the BHOOL BHULAIYA inside. Pictures, well beautiful.

Yes! and it's amazing!

Our Guide

The persian hall, the largest hall to constructed without pillars in Asia

Hazrat Ganj Market. Best Chikan fabric and Chaat. 

 outside BNA, Lucknow, U get the best Litti chokhaa, a typical bihari/UP dish which is crucial to our culture for 15 bucks a plate. Well. You don't get it anywhere else specially down south. And even if you do the taste isn't as authentic as it should be. 

So. Just go to Lucknow and live the romance in whatever you do. Shop, eat or just take a walk along the old Awadhi architecture. 

The sky over 412201

 I met my friend Nikki today after a month. After Mapusa happened to me, a few more failures in terms of academics and life and relationships, i finally and peacefully met her over a cup of nescafe. Which i never like to drink. But somehow it just tastes beautiful with her. Yes i am indeed starting this post on a very flattering note.

So i shared one of my Goa experiences which had nothing got to do with Goa or anything Goan with her. It concerned me and only myself as an individual. So she asked me to write about it today. But no, it is not going to happen today either. i will it save it for some other day. It is time to jott down some recent revelations in life which i experienced last week while talking to this another friend of mine named Swaroopa. ( Yes Nikki, you actually gave me courage to use the real names. And thanks, You do make  me feel right about my decisions at times.)

I see friends and random people clicking the ever so glorious Loni-sky. Loni, the place where i have been forced to live in by the choices i made in my life and life itself. There are insta and fb pics saying #LONI SKY or #BEAUTIFULLONISKY or #LOVELYLONI and so on.

The pictures are beautiful no doubt. Crazy lensing, fancy filters and what not. Or just a simple click.
It looks so beautiful. But it pisses the shit out of me. Exactly. So i hide those posts. But today i choose to write about them. Because, I had a spiritual revelation of some sorts. Allowed.

When i used to sleep on my terrace back in Delhi as a kid when power used to go off, i loved looking at the sky. No not for the stars. They all looked the same to me. Just the distance varied. Not even the moon. It used to hurt my eyes when i looked at it. Instead, I looked out for the airplanes. Up above the world so high. Like a true Multi-diamond and multi-colored star moving in the deep dark sky. I could just feel alright by staring at it and moving my head in the same direction, following it to be vanished.

I remember my father telling me how the plane must be right now over Agra, but folks in Delhi could see it because it is so high. That logic made perfect sense to me. Maybe i was a bright kid in those days. And i saw nothing wrong with that fact. It was right indeed. Time space and distance difference all made sense to me. I just can't seem to understand the same in the current stage of life i am. Anyway.

So how can you assign the sky a name? a place name that too! It is untouched! and infinite! How we, humans, can just pretend to own it? Im not angry. Im just surprised. It is allowed right? Right. The sky above my head is the same above yours. You can't map the sky. You can spot the constellations off course. Or maybe there are ways to do that as well, but as i said, im not as bright as i used to be, so i may not be aware of it.

You can't draw a line over it, measure it, break it, exploit it, bury a body into it or can even reach it for that matter. Although it is a known fact that you can't do all that. But then how can u just name it? hashtag or tag it. There is nothing wrong in that too. But as i said questioning it is just a revelation for me.

Because the sky above this place is the only beautiful thing which exists here. It doesn't smell. It rains. It holds gigantic multi-hued clouds in the shades of blue-grey-green to it. It makes birthdays special. It does not mixes with the food you eat and the water you drink and gives you a disease. It just makes you look at it. And you get to see it being in this very same LonelyLoni. But the best and the worst part is, and it is a truth, that this sky has nothing got to do with loni. So while we upload pictures of this beautiful lonisky, Im sure the sky mocks at the people and laughs, and then obligingly glows in all it's glory.

I am not a pessimist or a sadist. Again. I am just happy. One thing as humans we have still not been able to rape is this sky. So now I am done with this tale, maybe hurting many sentiments, or maybe who cares, at least i don't. I am uploading a picture of the same sky i saw in loni. Not with my eyes. But with someone else's. Someone very beautiful. Just like the omnipresent sky. Temperature change is a nice feature in Canon 60D.

a special surprise

So as I get back from Goa, my friend gets back from a Rajasthan trip. And as i was leaving Goa, i saw something interesting at the people tree studio. It's facsinating how certain little pieces of art find their way to some another place. Now that interesting thing is quite common amongst all those who traveled to Rajasthan or have been gifted with the same in some point of their lives. Okay now words are starting to fail me now so i will get to the point. I saw this red colored wooden toy, not knowing about it's origin or make and i really wanted it. Couldn't explore it properly as 100 other things caught my attention at the same. Now i like i really wanted this wooden piece of traditional art. 

Two days ago, I am in my hostel room, awakened from my afternoon nap, and i was in a deep conversation with my room mate. Now while sitting on my bed i turn back and see something wrapped in a hindi newspaper. And on it there is a tag saying 'For you from Rajasthan'. And it was the same toy i saw at People tree in Goa :-)

It is called a KAWDA and it's a traditional wooden toy which was used as a storytelling device. The pieces are painted separately and then assembled together. The pieces open up and close up quite accurately. 

So i am loving this surprise from Rajasthan in blue :-) and got nothing more to say about it as now this joins my collection of all the things i plan to have which are traditional in my room as i really wished to have this one. So here goes my blue kawda. This post is for Pragya :-) with love of course :-)   

:-)

MAPUSA DAYS

well. so this was last week. like entirely the whole week in Goa at Mapusa and Assagao while endless numbers of trips were made to the mapusa market for the Mapping Mapusa Market Project. Here are a few pictures from my third week of the year 2014. Pretty much unexpected and the happenings of the week that just went by, stirred with emotions that are still sinking in. slowly and beautifully. The people and the place. As Stan and Bahbak said, we love Goa for whatever it is. And i hope that more such trips happen so that the goodtrip of the life continues. 

the backyard of the beautiful villa i stayed in.  yes, pretty much my favorite spot in the whole house. the phone signal was perfect too :-),night and day inside

 

the very beautiful Gayatri from Delhi on the project. This is from the second day of the workshop and part of the 100 Rs. exercise. 

one of gayatri's purchased items from the market. And Stan's awesomely awesome 
voice/audio recorder. 

Part of Stanzin's tambaaku-chuna container collection. 

and the map(usa) of course :-)

Bahbak with his NAAKWANGI.

 Bahbak with Andrew's
 flower-hippy-thorny-garland.

  

 

 









Werner's dried fish.

the market being famous for its import of bananas 
from different parts of the country

 

at sagar tea stall

Stanzin's camera in various locations. 

i had one picture with orange peels as well

but guess i deleted it :-P

 in the house with the wild turkey

Mehar you another beauty :-D And my free-vehicle-lift partner :-)

   

Sagar tea stall. The tea stall with the best view in mapusa. 

And stan photobombing an already bombed picture for us.

And then the beautiful fish thali.

One of the intensive meetings with the mappers. Where we discussed gopros and celestial nymphs. With coffee. At Gunpowder. And Maithelee's awesomely doodled upon coffee cup.

Day 3.

 Capsicums. I like being random too.

One of the evening meetings. And more food. Gunpowder again. With Bahbak's special cheese and olive marie servings. was really distracted in the whole meeting. Damn you fine cheese!

Fishes. Random again.

Lovelies!

people tree

June :)

Gunpowder happiness! go for it!

 

some glimpses from my project. Under construction at the moment. 

 

 

 

 will be posting the final project o n the main blog soon.

the ongoing project can be looked up here:

http://mappingmapusamarket.wordpress.com/2014/01/ 

Stan briefing the college students. Cold corner juice center. Too cool Stanzin :-D

Yup. Not Stanzin. Just before the grocery shopping for the Assagao Burger Party.

 

Alyen making liverfry \m/

 

See You Soon Shakuntala!